Well, as daylight savings time has begun and the official opening of spring is here, the time is right for giving old man winter his props. Of course, many thank yous are in order for this “hoary gentleman” as he has been a source of conversation since last December. As you read the list of gratitude below, please enjoy this 6th-grade choir sing an ode to Old Man Winter.
- Thank you for ruining our pitiful roads that were on life support before the first freeze and snowfall.
- Thank you for giving road workers across the North but especially in Michigan enough work for ten lifetimes.
- Thank you for providing that coating of snow, too small to get the salt trucks out but just enough to cause hazardous conditions and multiple accidents.
- Thank you for turning good people into maniacs as they couldn’t take the “on ice and snow, take it slow” warnings anymore and found themselves skidding into ditches.
- Thank you for occasionally causing school administrators to fret over the decision of closing school or not.
- Thank you for giving meteorologists (funny name, isn’t it; do they report on meteors?) the opportunity to gleefully report about impending disasters of snowfall and its consequences.
- Thank you for providing snow for ski lodges where rookies like me tried to kill themselves after becoming bored on the “bunny hill.”
- Thank you for giving opportunities for heart attacks as we shoveled the erroneously reported “partly cloudy” four inches off our sidewalks.
- Thank you for ushering in flu season as we sniffed, coughed and blew our noses as we were relegated inside to share our germs.
- Thank you for giving a boon to the economies of Florida and Arizona as snowbirds flocked to these warmer climates.
- Thank you for the bumps, bruises, and breaks associated with multiple slips and falls.
- Thank you for providing us with breathtaking scenes (literally) as bronchial problems surface with the irritating cold temperatures.
- Thank you for strengthening our arms and shoulders as we diligently scrape stubborn ice from our windshields.
- Finally, thank you for providing us all with a great sense of accomplishment as we once again made it through everything you could throw at us.
What will we have to complain about once you are gone, our more than worthy opponent? Until next December 21st, goodbye and good riddance. Doesn’t an old man eventually die? Apparently not old man winter.
