Think back to high school speech class. For me, this was the worst torture imaginable causing knees shaking, cheek twitching, armpits sweating, and pubescent voice cracking. If I dared look up to make the required eye contact, there was always some jerk-off giving me the finger as I stammered through the three minutes that seemed like an eternity. “Scart” to death.
What about that stray dog roaming around the neighborhood seeming to eye me as his next meal? We never had a dog as a pet as kids, so I was entirely unfamiliar with these animals. As a matter of fact, not one person that I knew had a dog back then. Strange, huh, when today nearly everyone I know has a dog. I mentioned in our book Black and White Like You and Me about having to change my course as I walked to Belle Isle or a friend’s house or sometimes to school because a dog was lurking in my direction. “Scart” to death.
What about those Barbour Junior High black kids who I thought were determined to kick my ass any chance they might get. Of course, neither I nor any of us Catholic school kids would give those publics that opportunity again changing our schedules and walking courses to avoid them. “Scart” to death.
What about the opposite sex? Now, I know some of you fashion yourselves ladies’ men or confident, attractive women. Not me. Backward, shy – go to the Thesaurus and choose any synonym. My picture will be right there. “Scart” to death.
Admittedly, all of us growing up had many fears, some founded but mostly unfounded. We were naïve; we didn’t understand the world and relied on our innate reflexes for survival. Was the public speaking going to kill me? Many years later I became a teacher which was a world of daily public speaking along with presentations to small groups and large assemblies. Was the stray dog going to kill me? Many years later I have been the proud owner of many dogs including an intimidating bulldog called “Yo” that my son Josh asked me to care for. Were the public school students from Barbour going to harm me? Years later I have encountered many black public school students who are my friends. Thanks to alcohol in later years which initially got me over the fear of women, my confidence with women increased, and I have been married to Joan for 33 years.
What causes fear?
It is obvious, isn’t it? IGNORANCE, NAIVETE’, and UNFAMILIARITY! As with the public speaking, the more I did, the easier it became gaining comfort and confidence. With the dogs, the more I became familiar with them, the more I realized what docile creatures they were just yearning for some affection and food, of course. With the blacks from a different school, it was just a matter of getting to know them on a parallel level of family, sports, and entertainment. With women, it was a matter of realizing that they were just as “scart.” Someone compared the opposite sex to raccoons because, although they look intimidating, they are quick to run away out of fear.
What causes fear in the area of racial relations?
Both Blacks and Whites are fearful of each other. The white policemen are fearful of the community that they are charged with protecting. Blacks are fearful that the majority white society will cheat them and harm them in a number of different ways. Now, I am not saying that all fears are unfounded, but to stereotype an entire group is irrational. As with my reactions to public speaking, dogs, black students, and the opposite sex, those responses were irrational because I was so “scart.”
In conclusion, you may be wondering why I spelled “scared” “scart.” I used “scart” to depict irrational, ignorant and naïve fear. Are you “scart” of anything? If so, try to get over it with communication and real experience. You will be happier.
